you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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