So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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