Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
