He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
