So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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