dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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