so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
