my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
