i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize