That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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