that's an acceptable place to lick
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
