I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So squirting runs in the family.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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