Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
