ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
this hospital has no fireball
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize