is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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