Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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