dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
