Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
