She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
