i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
