he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
