see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
