And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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