At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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