1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
