i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
