I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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