return my video game
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
