I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
