it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
