this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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