Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
