Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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