Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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