that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
