On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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