Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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