i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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