I cockslap morals
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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