he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
