I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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