Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
