You're my little dorito
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
