Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We had to coat check the pizza.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
