I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
