8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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