Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
