I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
