I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
