I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
