I just pynch a tree in the face
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
