Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
