well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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