My room smells like vodka and shame
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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