If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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