Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
