so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
