Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
