Got a toothbrush?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she peed on how many people?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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