She said her name was "party"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
